Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christianity. Show all posts

Monday, June 3, 2013

These Things Held To Be True II

How Can You NOT Believe v. How Can You BELIEVE
PART TWO

     Joseph is the Number Two Man in Egypt?
     Genesis 41:42-43 says, "Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. He had him ride in a chariot as his second in command, and people shouted before him, "Make way!" Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt."
     As you watch this video listen to what the female narrator says, right? Now what really gets me is the part where she says the story was written, oh, one THOUSAND years after it was supposed to have happened, and while there was SOME dilution of the original facts the men who tapped the record into stone obviously believed very much that what they were writing and recording was actual truth.
     Must have believed that what they were writing was actual truth. Hummm. So, how about the ancient Greeks and Romans and Native Americans that believed what they were writing about their gods was true? They really believed their mass of religious beliefs was true and Christianity sure as hell doesn't grant them any leeway on that.
     Why should the Bible of Christianity get any more credit that any other religion? Because the Bible says so? Oh wait...I remember now. So long as it is the God of the Bible or the Bible itself that is attempting to be proven true then granting leeway is absolutely allowed. Gotcha. Good thing you told me because Lord only knows how long I would have gone on believing the wrong thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMOd3tRQnck

     The Earth has a Mouth?
     Numbers 16:32-33 says, "...and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them and their households and all those associated with Korah, together with their possessions. They went down alive to the realm of the dead, with everything they owned; and the earth closed over them, and they perished and were gone from the community."
     Holy shit! This is one of the damnedest things I have ever seem; it is almost grotesque. So, I am searching the net for anything having to do with the earth having a mouth and this video pops up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QI-ETPPppc
     Sinkholes happen. Really, they do. However, contrary to the belief of many of the religious folk in the world the earth does not now swallow people on purpose. The earth has never done this. All that really happens is people fall in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bgpwi7Dup7w

     How Long Can You Hold Your Breath?
     Jonah 1:17 says, "Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cyxD_afQgQ
     This is hilarious. The makers of this short video should put together a docudrama on the entire Bible but from this particular approach. I would pay good money to see it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1mP_zyfUwA

     A La Carte
     I Kings 17:4-6 says, "You will drink from the brook, and I have directed the ravens to supply you with food there. So he did what the Lord had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook."
     There is a difference in stories that are miracles as opposed to stories that are just fucking stupid. This one is pretty goddamn stupid. Elisha is starving in the desert (he was led into the desert by God) and God decided to help him out (never mind why God led him into the desert in the first place, but since God created Elisha's peril God should be the one to make it right).
     God's solution to Elisha's hunger was to send ravens to Elisha. Why? Because the ravens would bring Elisha food. Say WHAT? You heard correctly. The ravens brought food to the starving Elisha. This is a woefully retarded tale that is no more grounded in truth than the Roman myth of Remus and Romulus who were nursed by a wolf and fed by a woodpecker.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZtzUzH4a30

     Abuse of Power: Are You Surprised?
     II Kings 2:23-24 says, "From there Elisha went up from Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him  "Get out of here baldy!" they said. "Get out of here baldy!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."
     Like many examples in the Bible that typify the careless abuse of power (most of such committed by God) this story is about Elisha being teased by boys and in retaliation he sends two bears after the kids.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWkhtcGfdWs

     An Ass Converses with an Ass
     Numbers 22:30 says, "The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?" "No," he said."
     Hah! Don't you just love this guy trying to rationalize the talking donkey story in the Bible? This fool can't seem to stop digging the hole he stands in ever deeper. He tries to use the argument that if people have not ever seen a talking donkey than the talking donkey must exist. Never mind that he himself has never seen a talking donkey since he only has the Bible myth to work with.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq6zqDYfcek

     Really?
     John 6:19 says, "When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were frightened."
     The expressions on the faces of the people in this video is priceless.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLSIHYbedII
     Surely you suspected I would put a clip of this little fellow here?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45yabrnryXk

     The Lord Drives a Chariot
     Isaiah 66:15 says, "See, the Lord is coming with fire, and his chariots are like a whirlwind; he will bring down his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire."
     You would think that an all-powerful God would NOT need any kind of machine or device in order to travel. Explain yourselves out of that one all ye who believe this crap. You sound about as credible as the turd in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01i1TwB4-x8

     Heaven IS a Place on Earth
     Revelation 12:7 says, "Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back."
     Some people have said that heaven is a place on earth. Some have said the exact opposite. I figure that if war could break out in heaven (according to the Bible it did) then the fact that there is almost always war on earth is in fact an indicator of how very much life on earth mimics that in heaven.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxf71YAmA2w

     WTF?
     Revelation 13:2 says, "The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority."
     The beast sounds like he went shopping at the thrift store for his parts. Look at the illustrations for this supposed beast. Fucking stupid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8abWHW_DUKo

     Wasn't This a Movie?
     Isaiah 27:1 says, "In that day, the Lord will punish with the sword--his fierce, great, and powerful sword--Leviathan the gliding serpent, Leviathan the coiling serpent; he will slay the monster of the sea."
     Christianity is so stupid. How many times have you heard the adherents of Christianity go on and on about how dinosaur fossils are a plot from Satan to trick people into believing in anything OTHER than God? This is what I was told when I was a kid. The dinosaur bones were a trick and carbon dating was no where near accurate.
     Of course, there is a catch, right? You see, if Christians think for one moment that believing in something will help them to prove Jesus they will do it. Here, a few minutes into the video the question appears, "Could this animal be real?" Then a picture of some dinosaurs pop up. Nice. So, you totally disagree with paleontology unless it proves your God and His ridiculous stories are true, is that it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAfm7erZK3U

     This Just In: Dragons Can Stand
     Revelation 13:1 says, "The dragon stood on the shore of the sea. And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. It had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on its horns, and on each head a blasphemous name."
     This video makes frequent use of semantics in an effort to produce conclusions that are intended to prove things like dragons existed in Bible times. You people are stupid. If you are going to try to argue FOR actual dragons as so mentioned in the Bible you might as well include Pegasus and unicorns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FTcrBrqwHY

     God is NOT All That as it Turns Out
     Revelation 12:9 says, "The great dragon was hurled down--that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth and his angels with him."
     So, here is your $64,000 question: If God is all-powerful and His word and opinions and commands stand forever and ever...how and why did some of the angels HE created stage a heavenly mutiny? It sure does seem like everywhere you turn there is some kind of war and chaos going on with the vast majority having to do WITH God Himself and His screwy, selfish commands.
     As is typical of those who cling tenaciously to the flim-flam of the Bible the makers of this video would have you believe that no matter how stupid the Christian belief, and no matter how much science says otherwise you should STILL believe everything in the Bible. It is okay if people make fun of you because you are right and they are wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgIEQFawhAI

     Sick Bastard Offers His Daughters to Would-Be Rapists
     Genesis 19:8 says, "Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof."
     Haahhaa!! Listen to how this ass tries to explain away the detestable behavior of Lot offering his daughters to a mob. This is one of the most shameless attempts to make the Bible look kinder than what it is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wpf_7fgE4o
     And here is yet another lame ass explanation for Lot's behavior.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTrnXqiathY

     Forget Fire in the Sky; This is Fire FROM the Sky
     Genesis 19:24 says, "Then the Lord rained down burning sulfur on Sodom and Gomorrah--from the Lord out of the heavens."
     Yeah...uhmm...what can be said about this insanely stupid story? Some archaeologists insist they have found the real Sodom and Gomorrah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgQHQ992Wnw
     And there are believers who wonder WHY people do not want to believe in this shit. Seriously, WHY do they even have to ask?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_JRZX0zwPA&list=PLB11AC24C5B38EAF9
     Hah!! This is hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg

     If This is Supposed to Be Scary, It Isn't
     Genesis 19:26 says, "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt."
     You would think that people would look for better proof, right? I mean, anyone with a general working knowledge of geology will tell you that the mineral and elements found on this planet can form very strangely. This is a fact, so much of a fact that I learned it in a college geology class. Of course, if you look at it from the point of view of the Christian desperate to prove their delusional faith...well, you end up with shit like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVC79mWi3pM

     So Much For The Just Living By Faith: Good Deeds DO Count After All
     Matthew 16:27 says, "For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done."
     This verse simply speaks for itself. So much for the just shall live by faith and people are not saved by good works. Of course, I am sure there are plenty of delusional Christians ready and willing to create an excuse and a different understanding...all in an effort to make their faith fit however it needs to fit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bwn75f0qRaQ


https://sites.google.com/site/esterlighthorse/
http://toleratingaggressivereligioushumor.blogspot.com/
http://realbookofrevelation.blogspot.com/
http://cantstandreligion.blogspot.com/
http://noahsarkrevealed.blogspot.com/
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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Waiting for Jesus...

...and Waiting and Waiting and Waiting...
     This is absolutely amazing. This gentleman even knows the length of time that the supposed rapture itself will take: 1/64th of a second. Granted I am not by any means a Bible scholar per se. I was, however, raised in a very religious family where the lessons of the Bible were pounded into us day in and day out. I cannot find any verse in the Bible that offers the measurement of 1/64th of a second as the length of time for the actual rapture it self to occur. 

     So this guy basically says that we are pretty close to hearing a knock at the door that will be Jesus. Listen specifically to when he says the rapture and the return of Jesus or at least the marvelous signs of such will return...as it seems Thanksgiving and Christmas will be good candidates.
     Then he goes on to insinuate that the state of countries on the continent of Africa and the wars in the Middle East are ever=present signs Jesus is getting closer and closer. Never mind that the African continent has suffered from untold catastrophe for as long as anyone can remember, I mean, go get a goddamn history book and read for yourself.
     But then you have the guy's claim that the skirmishes in the Middle East mean something. So ridiculous. Geeze, the cultures in the Middle East fight because they choose to fight and have always fought each other over gods and cultural practices and every other friggin thing they can stew up a fight over. The fighting in the Middle East is nothing new.

      This guy is a hoot! Just another faithful interpreter of Bible rhetoric who twists and turns the words of the Bible to fit with the badly mutilated meaning of human struggles in conjunction with the Bible meanings so that whatever version of when Jesus' arrival is supposed to be can be validated. Go and write a better story.

      Look! Up in the sky...it's a tornado! It's a hail storm! It's...JESUS!

      Why can't an earthquake just be an earthquake? Why can't a volcanic eruption just be an eruption? A flood a flood? A tsunami a tsunami? A sinkhole a sinkhole? No one will argue that the forces of nature are not scary. Yes, they can be utterly frightening. But these movements of our planet and the weather upon the planet are part of the health of this living planet and have jack shit to do with any kind of deity utilizing the forces of nature to kill and frighten people as a warning that He is about to return.

      More cheesey pictures with even cheesier music accompanied by a deluge of scripture intended to bully and frighten people into believing that a vengeful and self-righteous God and His son are on their way to badger humanity a little more before deciding who gets to live and who gets to die. It sounds suspiciously like Hitler is about to make another grand entrance.

      Do you like the music of the opening sequence? The people who did this video do a very good job of mimicking the ABC Nightly News music before putting in a few extra tones so that no copyrights are broken. 

      Watch this video from beginning to end as it is an excellent example of, "Don't let the fear of religion happen to you." Living a life of fear. Nice. That is SOME GOD you have there. By the way, where is all the love and compassion and grace of this God? You don't really have to answer because not only do you NOT have a sufficient answer, but it is really more of a rhetorical question to begin with.

      That's right, let's use one of the more recognizable opera songs associated with terror and destruction and then couple THAT with loads of scary imagery with just a slight peppering of delusional scripture.

      This is so stupid. Why would anyone want back some deity that allowed so many horrible things to happen to untold millions within history? WHY? Oh, but it is man's freewill that did all the bad shit. Whatever, dude. That is a complete copout and you know it. How many millions and millions have died ion recorded history due to floods or wildfires or the forces of nature altogether? How does that compute into your special little equasion of the freewill of man? Do the forces of nature have freewill as well? Why in the world would a loving and righteous God allow the frightening use of weather to announce the return of His son? So everyone can see Him? If He is the Son of God wouldn't everyone know who He is to begin with and so all that is divine can dispense with killing and frightening people with forces of nature?

      Classic 'Jesus is coming back to get you' bullshit.

      Every election there is one group or another that tries desperately to use the stories emerging out of the election to fashion some kind of proof that Jesus is reaching out to push the doorbell to announce His return.

      Oh LORD! This guy looks like an Oompah-Loompah on steroids hopping about on a religious stage as he tries desperately to validate all of his disillusioned religious claims. Jesus is here! Jesus is here! Enough!

      Don't forget that all difficult times must be a sign of Jesus coming back.

      Oh look, two pompous assholes communing over religion. Quick! Get the camera! Jesus MUST be coming back for real this time.

      Listen to what the guy says at the beginning, "For those who don't believe that the Bible is real..." Oh, the Bible is REAL alright, it just isn't true. Big difference there, sir. It is amazing when people come across something they either have not seen and experienced for themselves or something that usually does not occur on a regular basis but that is still scary nonetheless and then take that and chalk it up to some kind of twisted validation of the claims of the Bible. So very goddamn sad people waste their time with such garbage. Jesus is coming back? No no no. And the constant assertions and fighting over such does absolutely nothing to backup such a stupid claim to begin with and does nothing to help people or situations or society.

      Sure, sure, sure. And there were also people who claimed that Reagan himself was the antichrist and was a sure sign that Jesus would return sometime in the 1980s. Go back and formulate a better story.

      Hah! This John Hagee guy is a real hoot. I will be doing a blog on him, but for now just get the basic message that this guy thinks some mighty guy nmaed Jesus is on His way back to earth. Nope.

      Oooohhh. Signs that jesus is on His way back to earth to torture people some more in order to get them to believe and bow to and serve this God who seemingly has a very big problem with wanting attention and lots of it.



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Friday, May 17, 2013

More on the 'Miracles' of the Children of Israel Fleeing Egypt

Pillars of Fire and Smoke, Splitting a Sea in Two, Water from a Rock, and More...
     There are so many supposed miracles in the Old Testament that are claimed to have taken place when the Children of Israel were fleeing Egypt. It would be far too much to put it all into one blog and so I have broken it up into several postings as you can probably surmise from previous posts.
     The manner in which many preachers twist and turn the stories of the Bible into some kind of morality Dear Abby column is disturbing. And there is always that little hint of, "Hey, don't worry about what God tells you to do. Just do it. Even if other people would not do it, you should still do it because that is what God wants of you. Other people who don't understand cannot understand because they don't believe in the truth as you do." 
     Nice. That is how the bastards who flew the planes into the World Trade Center approached their life and supposed spiritual calling. The infidels won't understand because they don't have the truth so you just go on and do what I tell you to do.
     The preacher here says something along the lines of there are people who will not understand what you do because it is not logical, makes no sense. Remember I am paraphrasing that. However, those with the truth will not let it bother them that they do not know what the hell is going on. They just have faith and follow whatever God says because God knows what he is doing. God will be your pillar of fire and pillar of smoke. Ludicrous.

      So, I am wondering whether or not the pillar of fire the Israelites saw was similar to what is in this clip. It is interesting, but not all that impressive. I have seen scarier looking tornadoes on the weather channel. Of course, I am sure if I were standing right there I would say something somewhat different. I mean, geeze, fire kills right?
     I would probably be freaked out by a ginormous pillar of fire traipsing around the desert. Yes. That would be scary. But I know for sure I would not follow it with the hope that wherever the pillar of fire was going it knew what it was doing and would get me there safely. The definition of faith does not include making stupid, uninformed decisions.

      I liked this video and think this gentleman did a good job of bringing across his opinion and providing a valid line of philosophical reasoning to back up what he was saying. I also like the fact he grew up in a very religious family and had far more than a simple working knowledge of the Bible and what people thought or felt that it meant.

     The title of this video is hilarious: Signs of God Announcing His Judgment. It does not matter that anyone knows how fire works and how weather and heat and wind and all that fun stuff affects it...because it is all a sign from God. So stupid. It is nothing more than an out of control fire taking place in an area suffering from drought and high winds. Geeze.

     Hello boys and girls. My name is Aunt Fruitcake and I have a story for you. It is called, "Do everything that God says to do and you won't burn in hell forever like everyone else will." Awww, the sweet stories people drowning in religion teach their children.

     This is a fucked up video. Seriously. It is quite graphic. I have not posted it out of a desire to be disrespectful but out of a desire to show how the religiously deluded take every terrible and wicked thing possible and use that to try to peddle the supposed power and wares of their terrible God. Does that make them feel better? I do not know.
     Maybe they figure they can get far more religious recruits by scaring people half to death and showing them terrible pictures while at the same time implying that if people don't believe in a certain manner something similar or equally terrible will happen to them.
     By the way, do you like the opening screen shots that show the clouds? Sure, the clouds are large and beautiful but her attempt to draw a religious parallel fails miserably.

     Don't you just love what-if scenarios? This is a hoot. Why, look what we have found...chariot wheels in the Red Sea! Well, that MUST mean the story in the Bible of Moses parting the Red Sea must be true. So retarded. You know how many civilizations utilized the chariot? Especially in that region? Do you think a busted up chariot is going to last that long under the water? Oh, but the water is cold and preserved the chariot wheel. Whatever.
     So many interpreters of the Bible can't even agree on where the supposed crossing of the Red Sea took place. Due to that fact many groups and religious individuals do everything they can with whatever information they have to meld a believable story for all those who would follow.

     So, this video opens with the words of knowing who the I AM is and whether or not He is trusted. You know, I was thinking. I have trusted people in my life. The people I have deeply trusted I still trust to this day. Never once has any of the people I have trusted so deeply ever led me to think or believe or suspect or worry that something is not quite right or something might go wrong or maybe I am trusting for the wrong reason but I will take the chance, no. Never. There is no question in my mind I can trust these individuals.
     Then we have God. It seems like the guy is always saying or doing something that leaves the humbled human being wondering what the hell is going on and whether or not what God is telling them to do is a good idea or a bad idea or a very big mistake. If God is so great and so powerful and so wonderful and so awesome there would not be one being who would ever question or wonder whether or not what they were being asked to do was the right thing.

     Well, look what we have here! Another interpretation of the Exodus story and what the Bible REALLY meant in regards to that story. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be. It is business as usual for the hypocrisy of religion.

     As you watch and read this clip I want you to pay close attention to the distance traveled by the fleeing Israelites from Egypt and Pharaoh's presence to the Red Sea. Now, are you going to tell me that anywhere from 600,000 to 1.5 million people (men, women, and children) and flocks, HERDS of animals traveled that distance in the time stated by the Bible?
     It is a crock of shit plain and simple. Unless, of course, God waived His magic wand and allowed the Israelites not only the power to walk really REALLY fast (the animals and kids and babies, too) but the extra power to NOT get tired from walking so far for so long. They would have to be walking at an enormous rate 24 hours a day for days on end. No stops. No encampments.
     So, if God had the power to grant all of these amazing powers and miracles to the Israelites why the hell didn't He just give them the power to leave in the first place instead of dragging them through supposed 400 years of slavery and then a bit more time as God decided exacting some plagues upon pharaoh was a good idea? Why kill all the first-born if God can just take His people out and get it over with? Wait, that's right...that was God's plan.
     This God of the Bible is not a good guy. Read what it says in Exodus about what God did to pharaoh. God purposely hardened the pharaoh's heart so that God would have a reason to plague Egypt. Total loser of a God. So wrong and so unethical in so many ways it is no wonder why so many people have had it with religion and its method of murderous stupidity.

     More people going out of their way and doing everything possible in an effort to force the stories of the Bible to fit into some kind of absurd explanation that is passed off as logic but really isn't.

     This one is pretty fucking funny. I like the quasi-techno music in the beginning that I supposed is intended to spark great joy in the believer who watches this crap. Listen to the explanations of this rock and really look at the landscape they are pointing to as they are trying to describe why a rock isn't really a rock but an altar. And to think we have people who truly believe this delusion under the guise that believing without any question not only shows their deep level of faith, but it also doubles as a validating factor for whatever cracker jack is being believed.

     So much for the people in the previous video finding the rock that Moses supposedly bonked with his staff in order to draw water out of it. Every religion stakes its claim and proclaims its truth and decrees that all others are wrong and false. It is all completely devoid of intellect and common sense.



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